Kirkkitsch’s Blog


Protected: Highway to Hell-o!
July 29, 2015, 6:00 am
Filed under: Dirty Birdy, Idiocracy, Rants

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It’s Not Easy Being Green
July 24, 2012, 6:00 am
Filed under: Idiocracy, Life


‘Muppets’ Sever Ties With Chick-Fil-A

Huffington PostLast Friday, the company behind beloved shows such as “Fraggle Rock,” “Labyrinth,” and “The Muppets,” severed ties with Chick-Fil-A due to the fast food chain’s CEO’s opposition to same sex marriage.

According to “Muppets” fan site ToughPigs.com, The Jim Henson Company had partnered with Chick-Fil-A to feature Jim Henson’s Creature Shop toys — “essentially a plastic tube with cut-out features for customizing your own puppet” — in their kid’s meals from mid-July until August 18th.

However, on Friday, the Jim Henson Company posted the following statement to their Facebook page:

The Jim Henson Company has celebrated and embraced diversity and inclusiveness for over fifty years and we have notified Chick-Fil-A that we do not wish to partner with them on any future endeavors. Lisa Henson, our CEO is personally a strong supporter of gay marriage and has directed us to donate the payment we received from Chick-Fil-A to GLAAD.

With this, The Jim Henson Company joins the ranks of Boston Mayor Thomas Menino, who has vowed to block Chick-fil-A from opening a restaurant in the city, office star Ed Helms who tweeted that the chain had “lost a loyal fan,” and the countless individuals who have taken to social media to voice disapproval, including those planning a National Same Sex Kiss Day on August 3, in condemning the Chick-Fil-A’s CEO’s opposition to same sex marriage. Continue reading



Autotards
July 3, 2012, 6:00 am
Filed under: Idiocracy

There’s never a shortage of what I refer to as autotards, where I live. I have the car dings, chips and paint smears on both the driver side AND passenger side to prove it. I find it amazing that it’s so fuckin’ common. I can’t remember the last time I EVER made contact with another person’s car, when getting out of mine. If it were perpetually windy with random gusts of mad wind, I might understand… but it’s not. Perfect example of an autotard.

And speaking of, check out this dingleberry. I don’t even need to expound on it. It’s times like this that I wish I had the power to make the offending vehicle implode and just *poof* disappear (preferably with the autotard inside). You know that scene towards the end of Poltergeist, where the entire house crumples into itself like a piece of wadded-up paper? Like that. Continue reading



Derp!
February 15, 2012, 6:00 am
Filed under: Digital Photos, Humor, Idiocracy

A friend sent me this via text. It was a warning from her new mini helicopter toy:

Continue reading



Dingleberries On Parade
January 4, 2012, 6:00 am
Filed under: Idiocracy, Life

So I was running into the grocery store to pick up a few things before heading home to hibernate. When I got to the sliding double doors of the front of the store, it was blocked: On the left, an employee with a trail of carts; on the right, a woman wheeling out her cartload of groceries. I stepped aside (in front of the row of carts) to let her pass, so that I could then head inside myself, when goofy (Guardian of the Carts/The Cart Whisperer) looks at me, brow furled and says “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, sir. It could prove dangerous.” Mystified, I said “Do what?” He then motions to the 6 inches of space between the left side of the door opening and the row of carts he was guarding, and proceeds to school me on how trying to enter that way could prove dangerous. Initially speechless at the absurdity, it was then that my expression turned to stoic disbelief, as I said “Um, I wasn’t planning on doing that. I’m standing here, so that this woman can exit and I can enter.” I didn’t even bother bringing up the fact that it was a theoretical implausibility. Fuckin’ IDIOT! Continue reading



Idiocracy Vol.3
December 9, 2011, 6:00 am
Filed under: Idiocracy, Rants

People never cease to amaze me…but not in a good way. As time goes on, I’m surrounded by more and more idiots. Some of it I can excuse, simply because nobody’s perfect. We all have lapses in judgement from time to time, but more often than not, I find myself in the presence of honest to goodness morons. I can’t document them all, but here are a few recent ones that I can recall. Enjoy.

Scene: Customers coming into the store- Me (chipper as fuck): Hi! How are ya’ll doin’ today? Woman: We’re blessed. *insert migraine-inducing eyeroll from yours truly* Continue reading



Who Needs a Hardened Skeletal System Anyway?
November 9, 2011, 6:00 am
Filed under: Idiocracy, Pop Culture

Like, O M G! A friend of mine recently sent me a link to an article about how Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar are expecting baby #20. Well, I was so excited about the blessed event that I took it upon myself to send Michelle a congratulatory e-mail (even though computers are nothing more than devil boxes!). Well, one of her kids who’s been giving the job of E-Mail Intermediary, secretly confided in me that though Michelle, is only 4 months pregnant (the original due date was slated for April), she has secretly given birth prematurely and…IT’S A GIRL! Say hello to Josiphiajojobajushabhesedjambajuicejehoshaphat. “Baby Jo” for short. She’s got Jim Bob’s eyes. Exclusive first photo after the jump! Continue reading