Kirkkitsch’s Blog


Getting Off The Phone
September 30, 2014, 2:39 pm
Filed under: Work Is A 4-Letter Word

The latest phone call (read: masturbation technique disguised as a simple product inquiry) went a little something like this:

Caller: Do you carry blow up dolls?
Me: Yes, we do. We have one style.
Caller: Is the penis hard or inflatable? When I say ‘hard’ I mean is it hard enough to penetrate a woman.
Me: Um, I’m not…
Caller: (interrupting me) Heh, my wife and I have been married for 13 years and she’s never wanted it in the ass before. All of a sudden, she’s interested in it, and I…
Me: Strike while the iron’s hot, am I right? *silence*  Anyway, let me check. (Returning from Internet research) No, it’s inflatable.
Caller: Do you sell something else that would work?
Me: We have assorted sizes in dildos, from 4″-12″, most of them have suction cups.
Caller: So would that be something I could put on a tile floor, that she could go down on while I…
Me: (interrupting him) Sure. Tile, shower, hot tub. As long as it’s a hard surface.
Caller: Do you have anything thin, around 7″? I’m 8 1/2″ and she says it’s too big for her..heh heh
Me: We do. We have something called a ‘Slim 7’ and they come in three different colors and are very popular.
Caller: My wife’s asshole is really tight, do you…
Me: We’re open until midnight, if you want to come in. G’nite!


1 Comment so far
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Seriously?!?! Dude, just ask the fucking question. You don’t need to share all the details. That customer sounds like an asshole.

Comment by Krys




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