Kirkkitsch’s Blog

More Than 3 Things…
September 30, 2014, 6:55 pm
Filed under: 3 Things...

Orville Redenbacher’s Salted Caramel microwave popcorn
Comments: No messy 1-2-combo bag where you pop the popcorn, then open the other bag and toss the caramel loaf on top and microwave it some more. Sure, it’s just caramel flavor, but it’s GOOD! Nice sweetness that’s not too heavy. You get the salt and the caramel in a light, crunchy popcorn. Very good!
Wicked Audio’s ‘Deuce’ earbuds
Comments: Bought these at Staples. Same price as the ones they sell at Walgreen’s, but have a considerably longer lifespan, comes with additional earbuds AND have the function built-into the cord, like the Apple earbuds, where you can press it and pause the audio/video. Nice!
L’Oreal Paris Shampoo & conditioner
Comments: I NEVER go for fancy schmancy shampoos, but these were on sale. Coupled with the fact that I’m getting old and my hair has turned into my father’s, where it just lays there and gives up on life, I thought ‘what the heck?’ Smells wonderful. Kinda, sorta fluffs me up…but not so much. Still, good price and it smells delicious…and it doesn’t hurt that the packaging is purty.
Ass Kickin‘ Chili Lime popcorn
Comments: I was kinda scared to open the microwave after this popped, since the entire house smelled of eye-watering spiciness, but it was really good! Definitely beats the plain ol’ buttered that everyone seems to love so much. I have nothing against butter, but most microwave versions leave a grody film in my mouth that’s a real turn off.
Ass Kickin’ Habanero popcorn
Zevia Cherry Cola
Comments: Found this at the Kroger near where I work in Dallas. I’d read about it, and always wanted to try the brand, but I never see it anywhere locally (they probably have it at Whole Foods, but I rarely go there). Could have lived with a little more Cola flavor and a little less Cherry, but it was still delicious! I’d definitely buy it again. TONS of flavors to choose from!
Frankenberry strawberry fruit roll ups
Comments: SO friggin’ good! I couldn’t find a current image of Frankenberry nor the box, since General Mills feels compelled to change his fuckin’ look ALL THE TIME

Getting Off The Phone
September 30, 2014, 2:39 pm
Filed under: Work Is A 4-Letter Word

The latest phone call (read: masturbation technique disguised as a simple product inquiry) went a little something like this:

Caller: Do you carry blow up dolls?
Me: Yes, we do. We have one style.
Caller: Is the penis hard or inflatable? When I say ‘hard’ I mean is it hard enough to penetrate a woman.
Me: Um, I’m not…
Caller: (interrupting me) Heh, my wife and I have been married for 13 years and she’s never wanted it in the ass before. All of a sudden, she’s interested in it, and I…
Me: Strike while the iron’s hot, am I right? *silence*  Anyway, let me check. (Returning from Internet research) No, it’s inflatable.
Caller: Do you sell something else that would work?
Me: We have assorted sizes in dildos, from 4″-12″, most of them have suction cups.
Caller: So would that be something I could put on a tile floor, that she could go down on while I…
Me: (interrupting him) Sure. Tile, shower, hot tub. As long as it’s a hard surface. Continue reading