Kirkkitsch’s Blog


Dingleberries On Parade
January 4, 2012, 6:00 am
Filed under: Idiocracy, Life

So I was running into the grocery store to pick up a few things before heading home to hibernate. When I got to the sliding double doors of the front of the store, it was blocked: On the left, an employee with a trail of carts; on the right, a woman wheeling out her cartload of groceries. I stepped aside (in front of the row of carts) to let her pass, so that I could then head inside myself, when goofy (Guardian of the Carts/The Cart Whisperer) looks at me, brow furled and says “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, sir. It could prove dangerous.” Mystified, I said “Do what?” He then motions to the 6 inches of space between the left side of the door opening and the row of carts he was guarding, and proceeds to school me on how trying to enter that way could prove dangerous. Initially speechless at the absurdity, it was then that my expression turned to stoic disbelief, as I said “Um, I wasn’t planning on doing that. I’m standing here, so that this woman can exit and I can enter.” I didn’t even bother bringing up the fact that it was a theoretical implausibility. Fuckin’ IDIOT!

So, when I came to check out later, he was there with 2 other bag boys, talking out his ass about something seemingly educational (i.e. he, again, was bathing his co-workers in his knowledge), to which his co-workers were obviously making fun of him, but his hubris wasn’t permitting him to grasp the concept. At first, I felt like a turd for thinking “What an idiot!” earlier on, stopping to remind myself that everyone is young and dumb at some juncture in their lives. Then, as I listened more, it dawned on me: This guy’s not retarded nor is he someone to be pitied; he’s one of those know-it-alls that brings this taunting shit upon himself. So, in the end, I didn’t feel like a dick and I have a story to relay to you here on the ol’ blog. It’s a win-win.


1 Comment so far
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When I encounter people like that, it is very hard for my sarcasm to not come into play. Oy!

Comment by twoveganboys




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