Kirkkitsch’s Blog


Rainbows, Banana Hammocks and Other Scary Stuff
September 21, 2009, 6:00 am
Filed under: Life

So, this last Friday, P had made plans with me for us to have coffee in Dallas. Friday night rolls around, he comes over and says he’s not really feeling up to going to Dallas, but would still like to go somewhere ‘gay friendly’ (we were going to have coffee in the Cedar Springs area of Dallas; i.e. the gay area of Dallas), why don’t we go to the Rainbow Lounge in Fort Worth instead.

First off, lemme tell you a little recent history, concerning the Rainbow Lounge: it just got raided about three months ago and one of the customers sustained BRAIN DAMAGE because some bigot cops felt they had something to prove. Of course the whole situation was total bullshit and didn’t make me any too eager to go.

However, his suggestion didn’t really surprise me, as he’d mentioned the previous weekend that some straight people he knew had gone there (to show support, solidarity, what have you) and said it was really nice. Knowing he was feeling me out, I just said something like “that’s cool” and left it at that. So, when he suggested we go, I was apprehensive, but thought “what the hell” since neither of us drink, at least (in theory) if the place WAS raided for whatever reason, they couldn’t get us for drinking or whatever trumped up charges they were getting everyone else under that night.

So, neither of us having been there before, we Google the location and hit the highway. I must admit I was pleasantly surprised to see what a NON-scary area the bar was in. It was an area of Fort Worth I wasn’t familiar with, or had been to before, but I was impressed how hip and relatively clean the area looked. We lucked out and got a parking space in their tiny parking lot (something that made me feel better than parking on the street…esp. later when we heard a tow truck towing someone away).

We go inside and I make a beeline for the bathroom while P gets something to drink. I come out, he tells me about his complimentary Coke and I go to get my usual club soda…for $2. Of course. Naturally I’m not surprised that P’s was comped (he’s beautiful) and mine wasn’t. Not as uncommon as you might think. Though, I must admit that I’ve yet to have a lesbian/woman bartender (at a gay bar) charge me for my non-alcoholic drinks. It must be a guy thing. Whatever. Moving on.

We stand around for a while taking it all in. There are A LOT of “dancers” in assorted places (mostly roaming around and in assorted cages and/or atop platforms of some kind), most of which are men, and a couple of women. The women are cute, the men range from ‘hunky’ to ‘huh?’ Mostly ‘huh?’…in my opinion. But then this IS Fort Worth and not Dallas. I think I saw ONE out of EIGHT whom I thought was remotely attractive. The ones I couldn’t wrap my mind around were the ones who looked 15 and weighed 85lbs. One looked like he was an extra from a poor man’s version of High School Musical, longish hair, bangs in his eyes, the usual fodder that passes for ‘cool’ these days. All I could think was ‘shouldn’t you be skateboarding in a parking lot somewhere with your friends?’ Whatever.

Neither of us being very seasoned veterans of the whole bar scene, we step onto the back patio for a while so P can get his nicotine fix. It’s a nice night and we stand around talking for a while before heading back inside. This time we find a booth and settle in for some more people watching. That’s when ‘it’ happens…

We’re in a booth, and directly behind the booth is a short hallway with both the men’s and the women’s bathrooms and the ‘changing room’ for the dancers, what have you. While we’re sitting at the booth, P points out someone whom I’d shown him on MySpace, who was one of my “friends.” I pointed him out to P (on my computer at home) because he was SO flaming. He sent me a friend request, which is fine; I accept most friend requests, unless they’re spam; authors, rock groups, etc. And I’m sure he’s nice enough, but he has some SUPER gay self portraits (and I mean A LOT of them) on his page. I’m talking entire albums dedicated to pictures of him, shirtless (guch) in front of the computer in various “dreamy/sexy” poses. GODAWFUL. Seriously; Picture 40-something in heavy denial with what little hair there is, dyed platinum blonde and spiked. Fluh-A-ming. Okay, you get the point. ANYWAY, P points him out and there he is in three dimensions in front of us, air kissing people on the cheek, meeting & greeting before fluttering away. It struck us both as amusing to see someone that was only virtual before, in the flesh. Weird. And that’s just one of the reasons I don’t put my picture online. *P.s. When I got home, I tried finding him on MySpace, but it looks like he withdrew his ‘friendship.’ Mysterious.

THEN it happened: As we’re sitting there, one of the dancers who had gone to the bathroom to ‘take a break,’ comes around the corner and gets right in my face, or rather his junk gets right in my face (since I’m seated and he’s standing) and says something like to “Hi!” then lifts his g-string up and down to show me the $4 in it and says something else to me, which I’ve blacked out of my memory for all eternity. I try to act friendly, but I’m sure I looked like someone just asked me to explain Pythagoras’ Theorem: kinda like a cross between a deer in headlights and someone who smelled something bad, but doesn’t want to make a scene. I say “Hey…there!” and kinda smile, while he stares me in the face and I desperately try to find something on his body that doesn’t make me want to dry heave (trust me, the man is NOT attractive and has NO body). We kinda stand there in awkward silence, for what felt like 5 minutes and he eventually walks away to work his mojo on some more deserving bar patron. I look over at P and he’s just dying laughing. I say “shut up”, which only makes him laugh more. I’ve just been visually assaulted and all he can do is laugh. He assured me later though, that he was laughing with me, not at me. Uh huh.

So that was Friday night. Sunday we went to Fort Worth for lunch and ate at this great little place called West Side Cafe in west Fort Worth. It’s very ‘small town’ in atmosphere and the food is home-cooked and AWESOME. I had the Sunday Special (turkey and dressing) and P had the chicken fried steak. It was DELICIOUS. I would definitely recommend it and will definitely go there again. Maybe one of these days I can meet P there during his lunch break. On the way home we stopped by a Halloween store and then went back to my house where we watched Modern Girls (god, I used to LOVE the soundtrack, which I had on cassette!). I like the movie, but didn’t quite realize how stinky it really is because I’ve always been so wrapped up in the 80’s-ness of it (+ I love Virginia Madsen and Clayton Rohner SO much).

And that was about it. Another fun weekend. I have today off, so I am gonna try to be productive and get the house under control. I REALLY want to have a Halloween party, but I have to get a lot of stuff done around here ASAP if it’s gonna happen!


1 Comment so far
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Ooh a Halloween Party. I remember your Halloween Party our freshman year of college. It was awesome. I “heart” Halloween.

Sorry about the gross guy at the club. The other day when I was running the trails there was an old man in short shorts and no support, so everyone got a flash of old man ballsac. Barf!

Comment by twoveganboys




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